How to Relieve Boredom!

When at work, jump on to your desk, shout "ARRIBA!" and proceed to belly dance to a tape of 'Livin La Vida Loca'

Walk up to random people in the street and shyly ask in a baby like voice "will *you* be my fwend?"

Have hundreds of leaflets printed reading 'Yung go Ping's Chinese takeaway' now in association with the R.S.P.C.A.' Go ahead and leaflet your area

Go to the Bingo, when you win, jump up and shout " HA!, I conquer you elderlies!"

Go to the supermarket, pick up a courgette, hold it to your ear then say, "what?!, you don't want me to eat you?, well...ok then" put it down and move on.

Later, re-enact the Chariot scene in Ben Hur with your trolley.

While on the bus, eat a whole lettuce as if it were an apple.

Make a list of ways to relieve boredom.

When crossing the road, run across in exaggerated slow motion whilst humming 'Chariots of fire'. When you reach the other side, slow mo celebrate. Get emotional.


When talking to someone, look over their shoulder and suddenly freeze, look terrified as you say "Don't. Move." start to back away. say " I'll get help" and run off.

Put your head in a candy floss machine...see what happens.

Go to the Train station and stay on the platform, as a train is leaving, grab a passengers hand through an open window and run along the side of the train, all the while telling them how much you're going to miss them and will never forget them. Done in the style of 'Brief Encounter'.

Cello tape your mouth shut, communicate with Morse code via blinking.

Wear a sheet as a toga, proclaim yourself to be 'Farticus' and pass wind every time you speak your name.


Superglue a chess set to your ceiling, Like my friend Riad did!

Befriend trees.

Go around saying, "I'm sane, I swear."

Have a hotdog eating contest with yourself.

Memorize the lyrics to theme songs. E.g. pokemon, cardcaptors.

Stare at a spot in the ceiling and see how many other people you can get to do it.

Pull the skin on your elbow and scream, "My Weinus Is So Big!"

Watch a black and white movie, mute it, and make up your own dialogue for it.

Take the powder from Fun Dip, throw it at people and say, "Evil begone!"

After every sentence say, "Over" and make that static noise that walkie-talkies make.

Start every sentence with, "Momma always said"

Put tape over your nose and talk like Michael Jackson.

Pick up the coins in the fountain in the mall and scream, "I'm rich!"

Scotch tape your mouth shut, communicate with Morse code via blinking.

Tell people they have dead spiders following them.